Dream life Journal 9.2.09

Greetings.  This is julie christine otherwise known to cyberworld as LibertyUSA.  I say the USA stands for United States of Awareness.  Or United States of Angel Networkers.  The idea is UNITED and Peace.  the Liberty means the Light we all share.  The torch for Life to unite us as human beings (as opposed to firearms separating us)  Anyway,  I've decided to get back to keeping a daily blog/journal like i used to.  I usually started with my dreams the night before and then the day.  so i will follow that same format with this blog.  so....my dream last night......Last night I had a dream i was learning a dance. I was not very good but i told my instructor i would practice and i was a fast learner. I was then in front of a man in an office and he was very repelled by me. I wouldn't talk to me and told me to leave - i was sort of used to it and thought i had said something to make him angry (in my awake life i am speaking about Peace and ending war and often offend people by not supporting the Presidents) as it turns out when i left his office i passed a mirror and saw myself. there was pressure behind my eyes and they were all bugged out and instead of pupils they had the image of a butterfly in each eye surrounded by large white area. i myself was a little freaked out - i thought - no wonder he was uncomfortable i looked a bit scary.

today was spent cleaning at Oli Oli Kai a beautiful rental property in Maui. I worked with 2 other girls and i sang along to music on the radio and had as good a time as i could given that i was cleaning mini blinds one by one and it is not my favorite thing to do because they are so delicate and i am not so graceful but i use the time to practice patience and grace. It was very enjoyable at the end of the day when all of us girls were cleaning in the same area. Angel and Nielsa. after work Angel and I headed to the Dharma Center. I work in the gift shop a couple days a week and very much enjoy it!  Below are some pictures of the outside and inside of the Maui Dharma Center Gift shop.

The Desk where I sit : )

Today we are preparing for a very special visitor tomorrow.  The Medium of the State Oracle of Tibet is coming to the Maui Dharma Center to give special teachings and give the sacred blessings of the Yidam Diety Vajrakilaya.  I took random photos of the day as i will do tomorrow and Friday.  Here are Karen and Peter painting tsa tsa's for the entry way of the Great Lha Bab World Peace Stupa.  I also found the Venerable Lama Gyaltsen la up on the Stupa with a water hose cleaning the top!  As i did my prostrations in front of the Stupa the wind blew the water from the hose on me and it was a GREAT BLESSING!  i laughed with delight : )  Later on we all watched as Lama la and Po put the tsa tsa's in the special glass shelves on the entry way into the stupa. 

I had the special honor of cleaning the glass that the tsa tsa's would sit on.  Lama held the fragile glass and I used the windex and a cloth to wipe off dust and fingerprints.  I took pictures of Lama la turning the prayer wheel and blowing bubbles!!!!  he made us all giggle and we were spreading blessings around the world and it felt sooooooo good. here is Lama la turning the Om Mani Padme Hung prayer wheel.  His Holiness the Dalai Lama visited this exact spot in April of 2007!  After Lama blew bubbles a Rainbow appeared!  here is a picture of Angel and Peter under the Rainbow

  Bubbles were flying around and i was giggling because bubbles always remind me of being a little girl.  The bubbles are like spheres of love and intelligence flying through the air and i will never forget the feelings i had in the moment.  Dewachen or Heaven is what it felt like and what it was.  Here is a picture of Lama blowing bubbles standing over the tsa tsa's.  Tomorrow we all go early to set up 

for the arrival of the Thupten Ngodup, The 14th Medium of the Chief State Oracle of Tibet Nechung Kuten so for now I shall say goodnight.  I am looking forward to our 10 o clock prayer service for the Medicine Buddha and Tara Prayers which will have special seating for our special guests!  I feel immensely grateful to have found my way here to the Maui Dharma Center on my tantric path i began 8 years ago in California with Greg Clowminzer, Zencoach, and now to be in the presence of these powerful, divine, wise, and oh so magnetic Lama's.  The Path of Enlightenment is filled with light.  May all beings awaken into their divine goodness and may we heal each other with our love in our own unique offerings to our fellow human race, the Earth and all Sentient Beings.  May I continue to learn, grow and strengthen in my light and wisdom and follow in the footsteps of the Heroic Manjushri.  To my Beloved Jesus - I carry you with me with every footstep i take...or is it you taking the footsteps and I'm along for the ride? : )  over and out - until tomorrow's update....goodnight and sweet dreams.  julie christine 

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July 2, 2009 Journal Entry

Dear Diary,

Today is July 2, 2009. It is a sunny, clear day here in Maui. I am sitting in the gift shop at the Maui Dharma Center. At 5:00pm there will be prayers and then a teaching. I'm nibbling on Spicy Thai Potato chips and drinking a very refreshing lemonade. I'm very grateful...and tired. I don't know what's wrong with me. I get good sleep but I feel down, tired, a burning/stinging in my eyes and a bit of failure...sometimes a bit dizzy. I'm not in balance and need to get in balance - obviously. This writing will help get it out.

July 4th and His Holiness the Dalai Lama's Birthday approach. Thoughts which get me down...Sometimes I feel on this mission of Peace that I am not enough....or TOO much of the wrong thing. I don't know how to effectively help the Cause of Tibet and World Peace. I try all sorts of ways of communicating ideas and messages to inspire change (while on a serious budget) but nothing seems to work so far - and if anything, it seems the more my heart opened and i felt the inner responsibility to bring change, the more I became misunderstood, resisted, and even judged. Man I'm so sleepy right now!

i have long mind attention to the teachings ahead of me. Looking at reality i see that I have spent the last 7 years reaching politically/spiritually towards Oprah Winfrey only for her to reach towards Obama.

My heart has turned inside out. My life has meaning only if I can be of help to others. I know part of what is trying to get me down is this....I felt i could help in a huge way if i could somehow get to Washington with Impeaching Bush but i failed. War continues and China terror and world violence is everywhere it seems - the feeling of victory is far away. I literally feel responsible for the deaths from war. I had all the tools and blessings with my birth and education and living in America with free speech to somehow affect consciousness but i just couldn't do it - britney spears, miley cyrus, and other entertainers can gather mass numbers of beings but i don't have that kind of talent - all i have are my words and prayers and art which i give for free - but it just ain't workin out. Sometimes i feel like HIs Holiness the Dalai Lama thinks me lazy - but truly if i knew what specifically I need to do - i would do it. Of course i will continue learning the Dharma and prayers, but my unique offerings - i'm just not sure what to offer that will help - or how to best deliver my offerings? Writing helps but it seems to only help me - at least that is how it feels.

This is not a pity party, it's just reality of the now. On the personal path i have made monumental shifts nd changes but now that I've discovered the Buddha Path and those great Bodhisattvas and Buddha's of past I see such enormous mountains of virtues and perfections to climb and it feels like i have very little time to get far enough on the path to make a difference ( I feel WW3 looming and N.Korean Missil pointed at us and a host of other calamities befalling the human race if we don't quickly awaken and shift out of these destructive death patterns of war, denial, and deception)

I do the blog, and this 21st century Facebook and Twitter and i market ideas and prayers and now i can't help but wonder - maybe i should have kept silent with the Liberty consiousness and used the new creative energy i was tapping into differently. Maybe i should have focused more on meditation rather than media. Maybe i should have focused more on book learning the dharma rather than spontaneously tuning into the teachings of virtues by following my hearts instincts in the unknown? Whatever strategy i did on each day over the last 7 years it seems it was ineffective - nevertheless, I carry on because that is who I am. But now on the Buddha path i learn that there is no 'I am'? or me or this being inside with this mission - there is only Emptiness. ??? I wonder if i will every understand enough to be helpful. It seems what people need is money and that is what i don't have a lot of. this makes me feel bad. I didn't want to raise money - i wanted to help raise consciousness - I wanted to help starving children with Oprah from the White house for example - instead i have to feel their pain but also my pain that i'm not helping them. I didn't even attempt to make t-shirts or bumper stickers or things to sell from my prayer art b/c my job - i felt - was to get it out there and if someone could use something i offered to make revenue to help others they would.

This is good to get all these 'failures' out of me - b/c this pain is what has a direct affect on my energy ( it try to hide it from others ) Oh i remember my one miracle Alladin Wish i offered to the karmic board with Chris Reeve and I remember my empathy prayer with Michael Jackson for the World to treat him differently - I saw a World event - a miracle with Chris and Michael and i felt with this event that Good Feelings would literally spread through the World to all lands - but now reality tells me Both men are dead. - no such event will ever happen in Reality. Ohhhhh. I saw Bush removed from Power and His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Oprah, Zencoach Greg, and a host of Spiritual World Leaders transforming the White House and American 'Power' in the name of 'We the People' but none of it has happened. Only China government merging with American Government with the Obama pawn and Bush and the elite terrorists living free. NO CHANGE. right at this moment the 2009 Golden Age looks dim. but with this release of painful thoughts and failings - I shall grow stronger and more commited. Peace Shall Prevail. this helped. it always does.

over and out...jc